Ever feel like its world war three?
And..I'm not talking about any countries, I'm talking about my house. Rawr.And my music doesn't cover up the yelling, the tears, and frustration of my family.
I feel the best way to express my emotions is through music and poetry.
so, here comes a poem.
and its short. because i cant think of anything.
Fighting, anger, frustrations
Welcome to my life
This is what I live through
It becomes worse everyday
The pain becomes stronger
The fights seem even longer
Why does my family have to be this way?
now, i'll rant.
why am i upset over something that doesn't actually involve me? my sister. someone who wasn't always there for me. She was always the boss. Someone I use to call a rolemodel. Now I just say is stupid. I never wanted this to be like this. I just want her to be as far away from me as possible. Or not from me, but my parents. The stress that they get from her. She should be going to WVU this friday to move in. Instead, this so called love of her life is moving to FL so she is going to. With what money? The girl can't keep a steady job if her life depended on it. Why should I help her? What has she done for me? Just cause more stress on me. Taken my clothes. Eatting my food. Sure, she's driven me places. After she gets paid. Why? Why?! Why the hell do I care about someone like this? Who would boss me around. Who would always tell me to SUCK IT IN because I looked fat in a certian dress or shirt. Who would always tell me how I should live and do stupid things to myself because I'll be happier. She use to be right. Back in the day. The only thing she was right about was Kutz. She loved Kutz. But look how much its done for her now. I just want to go back to Kutz. Where life is perfect. Why did she fall in love with a high school dropout with no life goal and has abuse in his background? Some lowlife shady kid. Who just happens to have a nice body. What the fuck? I remember my sister use to screw up. She always have and always will. And my parents always put all this pressure on me dont end up like her. Blah Blah Blah. Yeah I know. Now she's going to have to live on her own. I have no idea how. Why can't she just go to college? And forget this bad kid as a love? She says that they are going to get married. How could I even go to a wedding where I feel the couple should never even SEE eachother. It makes me want to just run away forever. Just take me miles and miles away. Or take her away. I just want to fly on a plane to anywhere. Really to PA. I'd feel a lot better if I could just be away. Just send me back to Kutz. I'd do anything to go back. Just for 10 mins. Give me the family I actually want. No. Send me to North Carolina. Let me be with the man who cures everything. I'll just live with adam. Be a pet in his dorm room at UNC-CH. He is my family. I care for him, he cares for me. And that just makes me miss kutz even more. As I listen to Kutz music. Why do I toture myself? I can't handle this. I don't think I can handle this any longer. If I didn't have summer kallah..i donno what I'd do with myself. I think I'd die. Or crawl up and die. Whatever, its not like anyone reads this shit.
posted by Rachel @ 6:43 PM
Comments: 1
